I wrote this two years ago, to be posted on my then, non-existent blog. Now my blog exists! Yay!
Even though gyms are still closed for COVID protocols, I found the takeaway strangely still relevant, in numerous ways.
*January 10th, 2019*
I went to the gym yesterday for the first time in months. Been feeling sluggish, pain in my knees, feet back and hips… not to mention anxiety and stress hitting some all-time-highs. At 51, things begin to (or should I say continue to) break down. But the rate at which it felt like it was happening was of growing concern. This led me to feeling basically much older than my age. Arrrggh. I know this process of showing and guiding women to their Bikini Souls must start with me. And sometimes that’s a restart. And another restart. Hell, maybe each day is a restart.
Don’t laugh, but my confidence in my fitness condition and therefore ability to keep up with any type of exercise class was basically in the toilet. So, when Mitch suggested we go back to the gym (Thank You, Honey!) I looked at the class schedule and decided I would take the Silver Sneakers class. Okay, you can laugh.
I honestly was afraid I might encounter a little ageism, like “Hey, you’re not old enough to be in here!” But I walked in, and gently asked one of the first ladies I saw what the class was like. She was very kind and gave a lot of helpful details. And, although at that point every single one of the forty, or so, people in the studio looked to be between 15-30 years older than I (there were even a few using walkers), I put my pride on the shelf, took my usual spot in the back row, and said to myself “WTH?? Why not?”
Turns out Silver Sneakers, unlike the many other group fitness classes I’ve taken, is highly adaptable. You can totally modify to work harder, with bigger movements, heavier weights, thicker bands, and continued standing during the sitting options. And I surprised myself in two ways. One, I got a pretty decent workout – one for which I am sufficiently sore today. And, two, I’m still in pretty good shape. The routine, as instructed, really was too easy (as it should have been). So, no, I’m not in the same condition as that subset of folks in their 60s, 70s, and 80s. Woo Hoo!!
All of that exaggerated defeating self-talk was untrue, and for nothing. SHIT.
I believe there is always a lesson when I experience ordinary moments, which cause significant emotional turmoil. And here were some important takeaways for me.
Firstly, the people in this class didn’t give two hoots about anything else other than being there and getting in their own exercise, for their own well-being. Hello?? Secondly, most of the class were struggling with the pace, and just about everyone was doing less than the spry 61 year old Filipina instructor. Yet, there they were, knowing they probably weren’t ever going to be able to keep up.
The folks in that class were a glimpse into my future. At my age, I still have some time to significantly improve my fitness, mental well-being, energy levels, balance and coordination. If I continue, I will get stronger and will be killing my Zumba, Yoga and SUP in no time. But this group had a clear understanding that they very likely would make minimal improvements, and probably would not get into better physical shape than they were at that moment. Still they showed up. Let that sink in.
The thing is, never have I seen a class so full and so filled with such beautiful souls, without even trying – in a health club setting. For someone, who’s mission in life is to turn the focus away from what we look like, to who we are – being in a gym is a huge challenge. Because it frequently feels like such a place of vanity, if I’m not careful, I can walk in and before I know it start judging myself and others. How much is he benching? How fast is she running on the treadmill? Why are you wearing that; it’s a gym not a strip-club. Does my stomach/butt/arms look as good/bad as him/hers? What a showoff! Etc. Etc. Etc.
Being in the Silver Sneakers class reminded me that NONE of that matters, and letting it creep into my thoughts, serves absolutely no good purpose. Every single person is in that building, for their own personal reasons, with their own story, and with their own goals. The one thing we have in common is that it probably was not easy to get ourselves there in the first place. So, from now on, when I walk into a gym, or anywhere similar and that judgmental voice begins to distract me, I’m going to channel my inner Silver Sneaker. I will be even more committed to seeing everyone as absolutely beautiful, with all of their limitations, vulnerability, and insecurities – showing up and doing the best they can for where they’re at. Especially myself.
Bikini Soul 