Self-Reminders

Today is just an anxious rant, to help me have some self-awareness and look at the advice I might give someone else if they were in my position.

We’re in escrow right now on a farm property which needs lots of work to bring it to its original splendor. The process of buying a house is hard. The process of selling a house is hard. Doing both at the same time is grueling and crazy making! And trying to keep up with your normal commitments feels almost impossible sometimes.

My husband and I were at a hotel last week while our current house was opened for showings. Our agent told us that houses in our area were selling on average, in six days. He told us our house was a gem. He told us inventory was low, so we should have tons of offers. So we happily worked our tails off to move a ton of stuff (which he affectionately called “clutter”) into the garage, staged the furniture and pictures, made the kitchen and bathrooms look like nobody lived in the home, had the carpets shampooed and even boarded our cat.  We went away filled with nervous anticipation, and expected to come home to multiple bids at, or above the asking price.

Over the course of the week our house was shown fourteen times in five days. We thought we had three offers on Sunday.

They all fell through.

We are now trying to keep ourselves from going into panic mode, second guessing everything, and wondering if we made the right decision to move forward with the purchase of our new home – even though we were counting on this home sale to pay for the new purchase.

Here’s the part where I advise myself.

First, redefine and access if what we’re aiming for is truly what we want, and look for signs to affirm that. Secondly, identify what we cannot control and let go of it. And, finally – have a backup plan, and a backup plan to our backup plan, if things don’t unfold the way we’re hoping.

The one thing my husband and I keep being reminded of is that we Love our new farm, and even in the midst of uncertainty, it still feels one hundred percent right. On a few occasions this week, when we were questioning our choice, something came into our path and very serendipitously shouted “YES! You’re meant to do this.” So, we’re going forward, even in the face of fear. Our faith and belief in this thing is unwavering. That feels good. Anxiety is de-escalated. Inhale.

So what are the biggest things we can and can’t control in this situation? Um… we have no control over pretty much everything having to do with speculation of the real estate market. And we can control our response to all of the bits and pieces of news and updates during this process. Simple, but not easy. However, knowing gives some relief. Breathing easier now.

Lastly, we’ve made very responsible financial decisions up to this point and we have no intention of stopping that practice now. Even though it’s not what we planned, we firmly believe that we can move a few things around if we have to and still balance the escrow closings. We’ll continue to make hard decisions with the help of our financial advisors, and those who want to see our vision come to life while protecting our investment. With eyes wide open, and the right support, we will see this thing through to the end. Exhale.

And as I breath and allow, I can’t help but be reminded that I have lived through situations that were much more stressful than this, and now have the luxury of looking back and wondering how I did it. I am grateful for those struggles, as they led me to the wonderful life I have today.

Self-Reminder: Stay focused, stay in gratitude, and keep breathing… Everything is going to be okay.